...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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