The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
