If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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