Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
