This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
