I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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