did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize