WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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