i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
