so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
