So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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