I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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