I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
