That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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