Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
