At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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