we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize