I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
