Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
