So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He did a backflip because drugs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
