We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
