I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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