what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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