Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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