So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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