I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
