yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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