The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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