I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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