Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
