I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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