Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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