1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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