Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
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I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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