I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
