i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
