Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
