Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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