Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
