i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
