First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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