Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dignity is for republicans.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
