His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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