Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
