i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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