so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize