Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize