I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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