I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
