i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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