at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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