its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
not ubering you a puppy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
