Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
