When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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