all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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